Rebecca’s Story
In 2025, Rebecca and her husband learned they were expecting a baby girl. They excitedly prepared to welcome her, even selecting the name “Haven.”
Later they learned Haven had a rare but fatal condition called Anencephaly. With it, parts of a baby’s brain and skull do not develop. It is not a disability. There is no cure. It’s a condition that is incompatible with life. Rebecca sought out specialists and other medical opinions. But each who reviewed her scans confirmed there was no chance that their daughter would ever get to come home.
Continuing the pregnancy posed significant risks to Rebecca’s health and her ability to have children in the future. Together with their medical team, they considered the risks and made a decision.
“My husband and I decided we would say goodbye to our baby. She was very loved and very wanted,” Rebecca said. “We were heartbroken.”
“This was real. This happened to me. I had to pick an urn for my daughter while far away because I couldn’t get the care I needed at home.”
But, Rebecca could not receive the abortion care she needed in Idaho. Her life was not considered in immediate danger, even though continuing the pregnancy threatened her health. Idaho’s abortion ban has no exceptions for fatal fetal anomalies.
So she and her husband, both born in Idaho, had to leave their home state and travel to Utah while grieving the loss of their family.
“This was real. This happened to me. I had to pick an urn for my daughter while far away because I couldn’t get the care I needed at home.”
Haven was treated with love and care by the medical staff and funeral home. Today her urn sits at home, surrounded with the gifts purchased in anticipation of her arrival.
“I love my daughter. I tell her every single day…I talk about her whenever I get the chance because I hope my story can help others understand.”
“I love my daughter. I tell her every single day,” Rebecca said. “I am not ashamed for my decision. I will not be quiet because my story makes people uncomfortable or angry. I don’t need forgiveness for my choice. I need support. I need people to understand that abortion care is complex and affects people like us who were so in love with our baby girl.”
During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Rebecca shares her story to remember Haven and recognize the families quietly carrying losses like hers. They continue to honor their daughter by speaking her name and sharing their experience.
See Rebecca share her story on KIVI.
